I Wanna Know What Love Is
by gargz
Summary: Season 7-After Lorelai?Lorelai? L/L-some things get cleared and said, and somethings dont get said at all...
1. I Wanna Know What Love Is

Title: I Wanna Know What Love Is

Author: gargz

Summary: L/L season 7 after Lorelai?Lorelai?

It was a beautiful Thursday evening and Lorelai was on her way out, she was going to meet Rory at the Gazebo; Rory had just finished spending the day with Lane and the boys.

It had been about a week since Lorelai had overtly serenaded Luke and things were still awkward at best, they had barely spoken since that night and she had successfully been avoiding the dinner. Whenever asked by Rory she had always made up an excuse about her being busy at the Inn.

It was almost 9 and Rory had been waiting at the Gazebo for Lorelai who had yet to show up. Looking across the street she could see into Luke's Diner which was now closed but the lights were still on, Luke was still down there cleaning. Rory decided that she was in need of coffee so she went over there.

Luke was finishing up going through all of the days receipts to make sure everything balanced when the bell above the door jingled.

"We're closed"

Rory hesitated before she answered "Oh sorry I was just coming in to get some coffee to go".

"Rory…hi! Come in; ill get you a cup to go. I didn't think you were still in town" Luke was surprised to see her.

"Uhh…yea I spent the day with Lane and the boys. And actually can you make that two" she finished. Luke gave her a 'seriously more coffee' look but she quickly corrected him.

"They're not both for me, one's for mom" Rory hesitated when she mentioned Lorelai "she's supposed to be meeting me at the Gazebo but she's running late…naturally".

"Okay I believe you. So how are things…?" Luke let the sentence fade.

"Things…are good" Rory continued back, she knew what Luke was hinting too.

Luke paused for a moment than filled up the two cups and placed them in front of her. Rory smiled, paid and made her way to the Gazebo.

Rory was sitting on the bench inside the Gazebo just thinking, mostly about what was next for her. She got the job following Barrack's Campaign and even though she was really excited she was also really sad. She was sad because she was going to be leaving this beautiful little town that had given her so much, and she was sad because soon she was going to be leaving her Mother, the woman who has made her who she is today. Rory's train of thought was broken by Lorelai.

"Hey kid. Oh you got coffee…that's my girl" Lorelai said as she came up the stairs, she walked over to her grabbed her coffee and gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey mom, yup can't go anywhere without coffee. What took you so long to get here?" Rory asked

"Oh...umm…I was just on the phone…" Lorelai paused she was debating if she wanted to tell Rory the news or not" hmp…okay kid I don't want to lie to you but, after finding out about your job and stuff I have been looking into living somewhere else" Lorelai finished she could tell by Rory's face that she was shocked and kind of hurt.

"What…what do you mean finding somewhere new to live. What about Star's Hallow we have lived here our whole lives….what about our house Mom! Our beautiful house with all those memories…and what about my books there is no way you're ever going to find enough room for them….I can't believe this" Rory finished.

Lorelai gave out a little chuckle when Rory mentioned all of her books. She stayed quiet for a moment, letting Rory calm down; she wanted to make sure that she explained everything so Rory wouldn't freak out anymore.

Once Rory had left the diner Luke finished up cleaning and clearing when he noticed that Rory had forgotten her cell phone on the stool beside her. He picked it up and made his way over the Gazebo where he knew she would be. As he got closer he noticed both Rory and Lorelai and it seemed that Rory was upset about something as Luke got closer he overheard some of it and what he heard shocked him _"What…what do you mean finding somewhere new to live."_ He couldn't believe it Lorelai was looking for a new place to live. Instead of walking away Luke quietly crept to the side out of their line of view and continued to listen to the conversation.

"Rory…Rory calm down ok. Don't worry bout your books, I have been doing really well at the Inn that it wouldn't be a big deal to keep the house. There is no way I am going to sell the Crap Shake…its okay really" Lorelai finished.

"Okay…"Rory let out of breath and then continued "So I don't understand why you want to move? Have you already found a place? And what about the Inn…your Inn" ranting Rory was back.

"Babe really learn to breath. I have been looking for a while now and it wouldn't be far from here because I still have the Inn, there's no way I am getting rid of it. I found this beautiful old Victorian house in Hartford that has more than enough room for you and your books and more than close enough for work" she finished.

"Ohh okay, well that's good and close is good. But wait Hartford? Do Grandma and Grandpa know because I'm sure they would love that" Rory asked.

"No they don't know yet…I'm thinking I don't even have to tell them. I already have a plan, when they call and say they want to come by I will just go back to Stars Hallow and I don't have to worry about not getting their mail because I will be here everyday for work so to go by the house wouldn't be a problem, they don't even have to know" Lorelai finished with a grin.

"Mom…you know you have to tell them right?" said Rory.

"Yeah I know but you have to admit the plan was a good one, very fool proof" Lorelai smirked back.

"Yeah you're a regular crime boss" Rory smiled back, she paused before she asked her next question. "So…why?" Off Lorelai's confused look Rory asked again. "Why are you moving Mom I don't get it? I know that I am going to be gone all the time, and it's almost like Yale just much farther…I don't understand the sudden need to relocate" she finished.

Lorelai was quiet for sometime, she really needed Rory to understand her need to leave, just for a little while anyways.

"Rory you know how much I love this town and these people, this place has been nothing but welcoming since the first day I moved here, Stars Hallow will always be our home no matter what…it's just there's…there's so many memories here. Good and bad, mostly good" Lorelai paused as she looked out into the town, every square inch of this town held a memory "but there is also a lot of…"Lorelai didn't get to finish the thought because Rory finished it for her. "Lots of Luke thoughts" Rory said sadly to her.

Lorelai just shook her head as she looked out of the Gazebo over to Luke's diner, "Yeah..." she said faintly.

"It's just a lot you know? A lot of the memories are good, really good and that's kind of the problem you know? Everything in this town reminds me of him and us, and than it reminds me of how I screwed up things and that hurts more than anything, and even though things with us are good, it's almost harder…it's just a lot" Lorelai finished unshed tears remained in her eyes.

Luke still stood their quietly listening; he understood what Lorelai was saying because he felt it too. A part of him was angry at her for wanting to leave because she couldn't bare it anymore, and another part him completely understood, there was a time where he considered leaving too. Luke's thoughts were interrupted by Rory asking Lorelai a question.

"When did you know" Rory asked. Lorelai was quiet and then smiled to herself, she didn't need to ask Rory what she meant, she already knew.

"I think the first time I knew that I loved Luke was the first time he kissed me on the front porch of the Dragonfly. I know that was like our first kiss, but there was just something in the way he kissed me. And after that day I just continued to fall, I loved every inch of that man. I love the way he smelled, not like burgers and fries but like old spice, I loved that this man who has worked hard labor his whole life had softest hands, I loved the flannel that he always wore because when I would hug him I could feel how worn it was and I loved that when he would only wear just a t-shirt or no shirt, how his muscles moved with each movement" Rory gave her mother a pointed look, Lorelai just chuckled "Dirty things and not, he was always just a guys guy, but with a flip of my hair and a short black dress I could have him do anything for me, my own personal slave" Lorelai finished with a sad smile.

"I don't think you had to do much convincing with Luke, the man was completely in love with mom." Rory said. "Yeah…he was then…anyway…"Lorelai's voice trailed off. "I don't know why Luke was the only man that I fell completely in love with, maybe it was that he was a friend for such a long time, and we already knew so much about each other…god there were days where I would just sit and think about him for hours…" Lorelai trailed off.

Rory sat quietly for a moment before she sadly replied "You really loved him huh?"

"Yeah kid I did" Lorelai said back.

Luke still standing the same spot was amazed at Lorelai's confession. A part of him felt bad for eavesdropping on their conversation. A minute later he decided he was going to make himself known when Rory's next question stopped him in his tracks.

"Do you still love him?" Rory asked timidly.

Lorelai paused for a split second and whispered "Yes" than Rory asked another question that brought tears to her mother's eyes. "Do you miss him?" Lorelai smiled sadly and answered with as much conviction that she could muster "Every day".

At the same time both Rory and Luke let out the breaths they've been holding. Although Luke's wasn't heard, Rory's came out in a quiet sob.

"So why are you moving then? If you miss Luke so much and still love him, isn't this something you should tell him?" Rory asked

"Oh Rory if the song wasn't enough for him to get it than I don't know what else is. Look I love Luke and this town but there is just so much that reminds me of him that it makes it so hard to be here, can you understand that?" Lorelai asked her daughter.

"Of course I can. But what are you going to do for the rest of your life, never be with anyone. That's not healthy or fair to you" Rory asked.

"I don't plan on never moving on…it's just going to take a long time before I'm comfortable again. Truthfully it's going to be to hard to move on, after what I had with Luke, I am going to constantly compare guys to him and that's not fair to them" Lorelai trailed off.

Rory broke the silence "Did you know that the night of my 21st birthday when you and Luke came to Grandma's, it was the first time I got to introduce Luke as my step-father to be. I remember saying it and feeling so warm because I knew Luke would always be in our lives, I guess I am just sad that I don't get that anymore and sorry that you never got your middle".

"Oh Hun…I'm sorry to. And I remember that, Luke told me when we got home that night, he was so happy he couldn't stop smiling. He said that he was happy that he got to be that for you, I was happy he got to be that for you" Lorelai continued "I'm sorry that it didn't turn out the way that you wanted, but you know Luke will always be there for you right?" she finished.

"I know it's just not the same, plus he has his own daughter, she's a lucky girl" Rory said with a hint of sorrow in her voice, Lorelai agreed.

Luke was in awe hearing Rory confess this all to Lorelai. He never knew how much his and Lorelai's break-up effected Rory.

About a half hour later Lorelai told Rory she was going to go home, she had an early day at the Dragonfly tomorrow. Rory decided to stay, as she was sitting there and thinking she realized that she couldn't find her cell phone, she must have left it at Luke's, as she got up to make her way to the diner the sound of someone calling her name stopped her. "Rory" she turned around and saw Luke come from behind where she and Lorelai were sitting, it suddenly clicked that Luke might have heard the whole conversation. She noticed that Luke was holding her cell, but before she reached for it she just had to ask "How much?"

"Oh…umm……the whole thing" Luke's voice trailed.

"Oh wow…" Rory said.

"Don't worry I wont say anything".

When Rory heard Luke say that he wouldn't do anything, she just shook her head, Luke really hadn't changed. Luke noticed Rory shaking her head. "What?" Luke asked.

"You're right Luke, you're not going tosay anything, just like you're not going to go after her and I guess I'm not surprised" she finished regrettably.

"Rory…"Luke never got to finish his sentence.

"Look Luke you don't have to explain I get it. It's just…you heard what mom just said, you just heard her pour her heart out and the only thing you can say is your not going to do anything?" Rory stated back, Luke just lowered his head. They were both quiet until Rory broke the silence.

"You heard me say what it was like for me to picture you as my father, but no one knows what I truly felt after you and mom broke up. All my life, especially when I was younger all I wanted was Christopher to get his act right and be the father he should've been, but when you and mom started dating and I saw how completely in love she was I knew who I really wanted my father to be. You were always there for us and especially me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though you're no longer in my life, you'll always be a father to me and I will always love you, that wont ever change" Rory finished, she was trying really hard to keep her emotions at bay, she started to move away from Luke, when she turned around.

"You heard our conversation so you know that she is leaving. A part of me is mad, she's leaving because she cant be here anymore when all it does is remind her of you, and I am sad because all this town does is remind her of you, and because when I walk away you wont follow me and when she walks away from you again…you wont stop her. You know I love you Luke but sometimes you can be so stupid" With that Rory turned back around and left, this time she let the tears fall, because she knew her mother was going to leave, because Luke wasn't going to stop it, and because once again she's not going to have a father.

REVIEW!! Chapter 2 coming. Lorelai and Rory go to Friday Night Dinner with surprising results.


	2. Show Me Love

Show Me Love

Show Me Love

After Rory had confessed all she did to Luke she walked home and found her mother asleep on the couch, tears were stained on her cheeks. Rory covered her with the blanket and went to her room, when she got into bed she proceeded to do exactly what her mother had just done, and that was cry her self to sleep.

Luke stood rooted in his spot for half hour after Rory left before he moved; he couldn't believe what just happened. He knew Rory was tough and the bond between mother and daughter was so strong, he just didn't expect what he saw in Rory's eyes…it wasn't anger or hatred; it was sadness and for Luke that was the worst thing he had to ever witness. He had to give Rory credit though, she was right he wasn't going to go after her and he wasn't going to go after Lorelai. Luke knew that he still loved Lorelai very much and he knew that the town knew it too, but what he went through with Lorelai was too much to ever go back too. The moment she left him in front of Luke's he knew he had lost her and when he found out she slept with Christopher he knew they were done for good, he truly believed he would never be able to trust her again, and that was why Luke looked one last time at the Gazebo and walked away.

Rory and Lorelai's day was pretty uneventful; they went through their normal day routines. Rory wondering town, successfully avoiding Luke's, while Lorelai did her job at the Inn and getting things ready for her move. They had both avoided last nights conversation with just subtle hints. When Rory got up she found her mother in the kitchen reading the paper and drinking coffee, she just went up to her and kissed her check and gave her a hug, and all Lorelai did was smile sadly at her and asked what time she made it in after her.

At around 5pm when Lorelai returned home from work her and Rory rushed to get ready for their Friday Night Dinner. They arrived a little after 6 with a scolded look from her mother, at exactly 7 they all sat down at the table for what Lorelai hoped would be a quick and drama free dinner, unfortunately it wasn't in the cards for her.

"So Lorelai what is new with you" Emily asked

"Nothing Mom the same old, Coffee, work, shop for shoes" Lorelai said back. "What's new with you mom?"

"Oh nothing really, actually I ran into Sissy Shaw today, you remember her" Emily said looking at Lorelai.

"Sissy Shaw? Um no, I have no clue who that is" Lorelai retorted back.

"Sissy Shaw Lorelai, Sissy Shaw, honestly Lorelai we introduce you to these people so that when you run into them you will remember them and make a good impression" Emily stated back flatly.

"Sorry mom but I don't know who Sissy Shaw is, no matter how many times you repeat her name" Lorelai said back with a small smirk in Rory's direction.

Emily continued to talk about Sissy and how they ran into each other at the same time Lorelai zoned out on the whole conversation until her mother called for her attention.

"Lorelai? Lorelai?" Emily said

"Yea…sorry mom, what did you say?" Lorelai asked her.

"I said, while Sissy and I were talking she told me about her daughter who is about your age who just started her own real estate company and just sold her first house about a week ago" Emily said, Lorelai distractedly answered her "Oh yea good for her"

Now if Lorelai had been paying attention to what her mother was saying she would've picked up on the fact that Sissy's daughter was a new real estate agent and just sold her first house, which happened to be the one Lorelai just bought. Emily continued to talk about Sissy's daughter and it was until she said the daughter's name that Lorelai snapped out of her trance.

"What" She said really loudly.

"Excuse me Lorelai" Emily said back.

"What did you say Sissy's daughters name was?" Lorelai asked her with panic in her voice.

"I said her daughter's name is Stephanie Marsh, why?" Emily asked back.

"Oh no reason the name just sounded familiar" she said back.

Rory who remained quite throughout the whole conversation, looking over at her mother she saw that she had a panicked expression on. Before she could try and find a way to stop her grandmother from pushing further, Emily already beat her to the punch.

"Were you honestly not going to tell us Lorelai?" Emily asked her voice raised, disappointment evident.

"Tell you what mom?" Lorelai said back pretending to not understand.

"Oh don't play dumb with me Lorelai; I am your mother I know when you are lying. And I have to say this is a new low even for you, trying to keep us out of your life. Did you honestly think we weren't going to find out that you were moving, and to Hartford know less?" Emily yelled.

"Of course I was going to tell you" Emily just snorted, but Lorelai continued. "Mom why would I choose to move to Hartford where I know you and dad live and the rest of your friends if I wasn't going to tell you? I just needed time to get everything order and make sure that I was definitely going to do it" Lorelai finished. "I am sorry I didn't tell you, but I was going to".

Emily just remained quiet for a minute "Okay I believe you. So now tell me why you are moving, you love that small town and that house, not to mention the renovation you just did to it. What do you plan to do with the house now that you're moving? I know many people that would be interested in living in that town and the house would be perfect. Do you have a price range? Although it wouldn't matter I'm more than sure we can come to an agreement" Emily rambled

"Wow mom slow down, one question at a time. No I am not selling the house; I can afford to keep it. I will not be renting it to anyone; I don't want strangers living in my house, so let's not go there." Lorelai finished

"Fine…so why are you selling the house than? You do still plan to keep the Inn?" Emily bombarded her with more questions.

"Mom just slow down okay, you're making me nervous. Look Rory's graduating in a couple weeks, she got a great job with the Barrack Campaign and my house is just lonely by myself, I needed a smaller place, and yes I will be keeping the Inn and continue to manage it, I'm just relocating my self, that's it." She finished.

"I understand, but if the house is too big than why did you decide to do the renovation?" Emily continued to dig, not realizing that her digging was only hurting Lorelai more.

Lorelai remained quiet before she answered her mother's question, "I did the renovation 2 years ago when I was still with...Lu...when Luke and I were engaged and planned to live in the house instead of buying a new one. Can we not talk about this anymore…I just…I'm going to go get some more ice from the…." Lorelai's voice just trailed off as she got up and went into the kitchen.

Both Emily and Rory remained quiet at the table, "I didn't mean…" Emily said. "It's okay grandma things with mom and Luke aren't well, they aren't anything, she's just having trouble, just stay away from the Luke subject okay" Rory asked her politely.

Emily just nodded her head. Everyone at the table remained quiet for a moment, before Emily excused herself and walked into the kitchen, finding Lorelai standing by the sink looking out the window, her back was facing Emily. Emily didn't make her presences known for a minute.

"I am sorry. I thought after things with you and Christopher ended, you and Luke were going to get back together" Emily said.

"Yea well…they didn't." Lorelai said sadly back. They both remained silent again before Lorelai spoke.

"Do you remember that time, it was the first year that I asked for you and dad to pay for Rory's school and we were in here and you asked me if I had feelings for Luke and I told you I think I did?

Emily just nodded her head. "I remember the next day feeling almost nervous and excited, like this moment could change my whole life if I let it, because I thought that maybe there was a possibility for us and I was willing to try, than his old girlfriend showed up and than Chris happened, and even though we always had this timing issue eventually things fell into place, and for a while they were amazing and I couldn't have been happier, and than things just started to go down hill. I was always so open and honest with Luke but when April came into his life, he wouldn't allow me to be part of it; I kept my mouth shut and never spoke up when I started to see things fall apart. I know you and dad never approved of Luke, but he made me so happy. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want that feeling back; I just want him to love me back. That's the real reason I'm leaving Star's Hallow, I can't stay there and love him when he doesn't love me back" When Lorelai finished she looked up and saw that her mother had tears in her eyes.

"I am sorry you can't have that" Emily said calmly.

Lorelai just gave a little chuckle "its okay, I guess I can't blame him, the first thing I did after we broke up was sleep with Christopher, that's not the easiest thing to forgive".

Lorelai finished speaking; she told Emily that she was going back to the table when Emily's voice stopped her. "I'm sorry…that I and your father never gave Luke a fair chance, I never realized how much his love meant to you I'm sorry that…." Emily was interrupted by Lorelai.

"It's okay, it wasn't you that messed up the relationship, it was me and I know that. Let's just go back to the table and finish eating I'm starved to death" Lorelai said playfully

"You're so dramatic Lorelai" said Emily.

"I know" Lorelai said back with a small smile.

The rest of the night continued in its normal fashion, Lorelai and Emily sparing back and forth and at 9 both girls said goodnight and were on their way back home.

Once the girls left Emily stayed in front of the door just standing there for 5 minutes lost in her thoughts. Today Lorelai had opened up to her and her relationship with Luke, and although her first thought was to drive to Star's Hallow and knock some sense into Luke she decided against it, she knew how well that turned out the last time, she left the thought alone, she knew that Lorelai would make the right decision.

REVIEW!! Okay so chapter 2 in one day. Okay for this story I am changing some of the things for the series. Like Rory getting the job sooner appose to later, and the Rory/Logan relationship I am choosing to ignore because I don't care.

Show Me Love-Robyn


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